Yesterday I went to the live show of Everything is Terrible's crew!

"RotaryLover" (rotarylover)
05/20/2014 at 20:23 • Filed to: Keep Oppo Weird

It was hilarious as expected...but then they showed this.

I just laughed and died. The guy was doing such a simple recipe, yet it felt like it took every bit of strength out of him! The way he opened up the bag of Nachos is glorious!

DISCUSSION (59)

With-a-G is back to not having anything written after his username > RotaryLover
05/20/2014 at 20:29

http://gawker.com/5963727/steven…

Supreme Kiwi Zorro > RotaryLover
05/20/2014 at 20:33

I think I just vomited in my mouth. * swallows * Mmm, bile, it tastes better than that processed garbage.

RotaryLover > With-a-G is back to not having anything written after his username
05/20/2014 at 20:35

Holy shit, he's a registered Sex offender! This put the video on a whole new level!

RotaryLover > Supreme Kiwi Zorro
05/20/2014 at 20:37

Everything is better than this! I just could not believe my eyes lol

Supreme Kiwi Zorro > RotaryLover
05/20/2014 at 21:03

Homemade nachos are healthier and they're laughably easy to make. * rubs chin, thinks about teaching Nakita how to make some tonight *

RotaryLover > Supreme Kiwi Zorro
05/20/2014 at 21:06

What Nakita needs....is to learn more about....MIATAS!!!

Supreme Kiwi Zorro > RotaryLover
05/20/2014 at 21:20

* shakes head * Nope, he actually hates Miatas. He likes streamlined German cars from before and during WWII like the Mercedes-Benz 540K Autobahnkürier.

By the way, are you ignoring my other comment about seeing a doctor? Worried that your doctor will tell you to take time off from work?

RotaryLover > Supreme Kiwi Zorro
05/20/2014 at 21:26

Well I do need some time off...argh. Maybe I'm rushing things too. Looks like I won't do the road trip...

Supreme Kiwi Zorro > RotaryLover
05/20/2014 at 21:30

It's a good idea to cancel your road trip. Your health is more important. There are always Miata meets. The one at Laguna Seca won't be the last one because it's sponsored by Mazda.

RotaryLover > Supreme Kiwi Zorro
05/20/2014 at 21:33

I feel as if my summer is messed up...

Supreme Kiwi Zorro > RotaryLover
05/20/2014 at 21:50

How can you mess up your summer when it hasn't arrived? Start planning an affordable roadtrip. Look for a Miata event near Montreal.

RotaryLover > Supreme Kiwi Zorro
05/20/2014 at 21:53

The Miata club here is full of old people that just wanna play golf. I don't fit.

Supreme Kiwi Zorro > RotaryLover
05/21/2014 at 16:53

I have a message for you from Nakita: "Learn about motorcycles! They're better and faster than that car (Miata). Learn about Deutsch motorräder! "

RotaryLover > Supreme Kiwi Zorro
05/21/2014 at 17:06

I'm gonna die in one...I'm not responsible enough.

Supreme Kiwi Zorro > RotaryLover
05/21/2014 at 18:17

My service dog Blondi said you still haven't gone to the doctor. Talk about irresponsible!

RotaryLover > Supreme Kiwi Zorro
05/21/2014 at 18:24

But....I feel great dad!

Supreme Kiwi Zorro > RotaryLover
05/21/2014 at 18:32

You were dying two days ago. You decided to cancel your roadtrip yesterday. You're all better today? Anyway, how are you?

RotaryLover > Supreme Kiwi Zorro
05/21/2014 at 18:36

I think it's the girl I'm going out with. I like her (not love her yet) so much that I get healed right before I see her.

Supreme Kiwi Zorro > RotaryLover
05/21/2014 at 19:38

No, you are in love with her. Love helps you heal faster. I'll ask you again: how are you?

RotaryLover > Supreme Kiwi Zorro
05/21/2014 at 19:42

I'm great. How about you dad?

Supreme Kiwi Zorro > RotaryLover
05/21/2014 at 19:50

I'm doing just fine, thank you, son. :)

RotaryLover > Supreme Kiwi Zorro
05/21/2014 at 20:03

What is new with you Daddy?

Supreme Kiwi Zorro > RotaryLover
05/21/2014 at 21:16

Other than a new service dog, not much is new. My husband is still cute and loving like always. Nakita is doing good in school and making friends with Germans and Norwegians (blond hair and blue eyes). Everyone else in the family is still doing the research for me for my last post. It's finished, but we have to double check the facts and dates, which will take a while. What's new with you, son?

RotaryLover > Supreme Kiwi Zorro
05/22/2014 at 10:52

Well other than dating a girl that finally is serious and knows what she wants, nothing much. I'm thinking of what I need to do to enjoy summer and my goals. I need a good kick in the arse.

Supreme Kiwi Zorro > RotaryLover
05/22/2014 at 16:39

You want your arse kicked? Let me help you with that. * kicks Helmut's arse repeatedly, shoe gets stuck inside his rectum * Blimey, there goes one of my TUK Creepers. * abandons shoe, leaves it there * A new girl? Just two months ago you kissed a slut and got a strep throat. Well, tell me about her.

RotaryLover > Supreme Kiwi Zorro
05/22/2014 at 20:43

*Takes shoe and put it in a art gallery. Put the money in a special fund to buy another Miata!* Hahahaha! You mean the slut or the new girl?

Supreme Kiwi Zorro > RotaryLover
05/22/2014 at 21:09

Miata? Nooo . I'll use that money to put my son in university if he wants to. If not, I'll use it to renovate my great grandparents' house in the heart of Berlin (they handed over the deed). I'm talking about this new girl… Unless it's the same slut you snogged with.

RotaryLover > Supreme Kiwi Zorro
05/22/2014 at 21:51

Nah nah. I met this girl about over a year ago. She's a model. We always had fun together but I kinda stepped back since I just didn't like clubs and going in expensive places where everyone is "dressed to impress". I felt out of place. So for the rest of the time I didn't talk to her, until she disappeared of FB and reappeared a month or 2 later. I sent a message and got her number when she said that she wanted to go out soon. So for the last 3 weeks, we've been going out and it's great...but only once a week. We both have busy schedules.

Supreme Kiwi Zorro > RotaryLover
05/25/2014 at 16:37

My dear boy, you don't have to try to fit in. Just be yourself and dress the way you want. If you explain that you can't afford to eat or shop at expensive places, they will either understand or ditch you. If it's the latter, then you're making friends with the wrong people. It's good to see her once or twice every week. This is called "giving each other space". The act of giving each other room to breathe will strengthen your bond with her.

How was your weekend? :)

RotaryLover > Supreme Kiwi Zorro
05/26/2014 at 19:57

She did understand. That's why she doesn't invite me to those stuff anymore.

The weekend ended great as you saw on my post. Other than that, I saw some people from chicago last saturday that wanted to celebrate their bachelor party, they didn't know the good places in Montreal as they got ripped off in a expensive strip club. I was going to a karaoke party for a birthday and since there wasn't a lot of people, I sent them there for a cheap beer and told them to visit a good cheap strip club that I know. They were having so much fun that I ended up having free beer all night!! :D

How about you dad?

Supreme Kiwi Zorro > RotaryLover
05/26/2014 at 20:18

So Americans went on a 1,500km trip to Montreal only to lose money and get drunk? * sighs * Typical Americans.

It's starting to get cold outside, so we spent out weekend indoors. Nakita and his two German BFFs had a sleepover party again. The school is out for the boys this Friday. Great grandparents headed back to Deutschland. I'm still working on my last post. It was mostly relaxing. :)

Message for you from one of Nakita's German friends (he's older), "Does your girl have blond hair and blue eyes?"

RotaryLover > Supreme Kiwi Zorro
05/26/2014 at 20:22

Not at all. She has black hair like me and brown eyes like me.

Supreme Kiwi Zorro > RotaryLover
05/26/2014 at 20:56

Oh, ah. * silence, hears fly buzzing * Okay then.

RotaryLover > Supreme Kiwi Zorro
05/27/2014 at 05:10

Hahahaha where were you heading there? :P

Supreme Kiwi Zorro > RotaryLover
05/27/2014 at 16:42

We were having lengthy conversations and all of a sudden you shortened it to a single sentence. Nothing's wrong, I'm just a talkative person. Daddy still loves you!

RotaryLover > Supreme Kiwi Zorro
05/29/2014 at 09:14

I think I'm lost a bit Dad. About everything.

Supreme Kiwi Zorro > RotaryLover
05/29/2014 at 16:27

What? Did Alfalfa show up at your door? What is it, son?

RotaryLover > Supreme Kiwi Zorro
05/29/2014 at 18:17

No dad, I damn hope he doesn't show up. Nah dad, I feel...free. I dunno. My strenght is back. I can eat sweets again. I finally talk back and shut down assholes at work. All since I took your advice about the honey...this is weird. I still get a tablespoon of it everyday. No jokes.

Supreme Kiwi Zorro > RotaryLover
05/29/2014 at 18:39

* borrows Giorgio's husband Daniel's bowler hat, uses it to slap across Helmut's face * Stop swearing, boy! On the other hand, I'm glad things are getting back to normal for you. It's brilliant how a simple spoonful of honey can do to your body. I still recommend eating other magical ingredients, such as cinnamon, ginger, molasses, cayenne and garlic. Bake some gingerbread with ginger and honey or molasses. :)

I saw your other post about this girl. I'd like to point out that you shouldn't be saying "it sucks to date a model" because it was you who drove her away. Despite being exhausted, she still wanted to see you. I suggest you not to do that again.

RotaryLover > Supreme Kiwi Zorro
05/29/2014 at 18:42

But...she's anemic already. I don't her to be over exhausted.

Supreme Kiwi Zorro > RotaryLover
05/29/2014 at 18:49

*borrows me dad's All Blacks cap, uses it to slap across Helmut's face * Son, you missed the point. She's aware of the fact that she's exhausted, but she still wanted to see you. You can do relaxing things with her like going to the movies, watching a stage play, going out for dinner, anything. She obviously doesn't want to go on a hike, climb Mt. Cook or go to a rock concert with you. You sent her away without thinking of an appropriate plan for your date. * slaps across Helmut's face with a wooden spoon, breaks it *

RotaryLover > Supreme Kiwi Zorro
05/29/2014 at 19:10

Now I feel bad......fuck :(

Supreme Kiwi Zorro > RotaryLover
05/29/2014 at 19:56

* borrows one of the Nazi peaked caps from my family history, realises it's in a display case * Oh well. * slaps across Helmut's face with the display case * Helmut, what is it with you and your social skills? When you lack self awareness, you can do hurtful things to other people without realising what you're doing. I want you to call this girl and apologise for driving her away. Preferably right now.

RotaryLover > Supreme Kiwi Zorro
05/29/2014 at 20:05

*Helmut dies from injury

Supreme Kiwi Zorro > RotaryLover
05/29/2014 at 20:59

* watches as our dogs Blondi and Starbreeze pee on Helmut, decides to join them * Did you call the girl to apologise?

In response to your other comment, even though it was 23:00, she still wanted to see you. You can't use excuses to protect your poor judgement. She was the one making the plans after all, you can't take over and cancel it. You had trouble with people and you said it yourself, this is why people steer clear of you. * shakes Helmut violently *

P.S. Nakita and his German BFFs Dieter, Ralf and Wülf are here. They're out of school for the winter break. Nakita said hi. :)

RotaryLover > Supreme Kiwi Zorro
05/29/2014 at 21:10

Wait wait wait! I did the plan, if I didn't text her or call her, it would had never happened.

Winter break? ah....I forgot. NZ is confusing! Oh hi Nakita! How are you?

Supreme Kiwi Zorro > RotaryLover
05/29/2014 at 21:56

It's called "cancelling the date at the last minute", so… * chuckles * Please don't do that again though. If she wants to see you, let her. Ja ?

Summer break is approaching for the kids up there. Winter break has arrived for the kids down here. Nakita said, "Ich bin gut, danke! How are you? These are my best, best, best friends, Wülf, Dieter and Ralf! I'm teaching them how to sign the Deutschlandlied (German anthem song)."

FYI, I'll be here for another two hours to bake pies for the boys' party tonight.

Supreme Kiwi Zorro > RotaryLover
05/29/2014 at 23:25

Well, we're heading out. Have a great weekend, cheers! :)

RotaryLover > Supreme Kiwi Zorro
06/01/2014 at 19:47

I'm great Nakita! Now that I have proof that I've beat some ricers! :D So did your friends learn the anthem well?

RotaryLover > Supreme Kiwi Zorro
06/01/2014 at 19:47

Seriously! I didn't see the reply!!! :((((

Supreme Kiwi Zorro > RotaryLover
06/01/2014 at 20:44

I'll have to deliver your response later.

Nakita and Dieter fell asleep together in the hammock. I asked Wülf about the anthem song. He signed the entire song correctly. * impressed with how Nakita taught them without any help *

RotaryLover > Supreme Kiwi Zorro
06/01/2014 at 20:52

How old is Nakita again?

Supreme Kiwi Zorro > RotaryLover
06/01/2014 at 21:01

Three. We taught him the Deutschlandlied and he taught his BFFs what he learnt. :)

RotaryLover > Supreme Kiwi Zorro
06/01/2014 at 21:02

3???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? 3??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? WHAT??????????????????????

Supreme Kiwi Zorro > RotaryLover
06/01/2014 at 21:07

Yes, and?

Nakita is in a bilingual school, which means he gets to learn to speak two languages fluently. Ivan and I have been stuffing him with information when he's not in school. You're supposed to raise your kid this way, son.

RotaryLover > Supreme Kiwi Zorro
06/01/2014 at 21:15

When I was 3....wait wth was I doing when I was 3??...drawings probably...

Supreme Kiwi Zorro > RotaryLover
06/01/2014 at 21:24

It's because your parents didn't want to sit down and teach you what they know. They expected your school to do all the work. Ivan and I teach Nakita small things, make up bedtime stories to tell him and encourage him to change our story to make it funnier, go out on a hike to explore, go to museums and other educational fun activities.

RotaryLover > Supreme Kiwi Zorro
06/01/2014 at 21:28

I know my parents did my education right. I just don't remember what happened before 4.

Supreme Kiwi Zorro > RotaryLover
06/01/2014 at 21:37

Oh, ah. My parents raised me that way: more education through fun activities outside of school. We have different mentors, I suppose.